Now that I have your attention with the dramatic post title...
Wesley Intermediate School, 1985, Form 2. There was a girl my my class called Sarah. One day after lunch (I remember it as though it were yesterday), she was about to sit down at her desk. I saw my window of opportunity and didn't hesistate to make the most of it. Being completely oblivious to any consequences... I pulled the chair out from underneath her before she sat on it. I had imagined that Sarah would graciously fall on her behind, I'd be the class comedian, she would see the funny side, there would be laughs all round and good times would be had by all. Boy, I was so wrong. Before Sarah's behind had a chance to even touch the ground, her head come down on the corner of the desk... hard.
Have you ever had one of those moments, when you would give almost anything to go back in time just a few seconds, and not do the stupid thing you just did? This was one of those times.
There were no laughs to be heard. Sarah was crying (at least she wasn't unconscious). There were no good times being had by all. Everyone who was present at the time hurled abuse at me. I was not the class comedian... I was the class moron. Not quite what I had envisioned.
I gave a girl head injuries (well, maybe 'head injuries' is a bit over dramatic)... I humiliated a very nice girl and gave her a bad bruise and a massive bump on her head.
Sarah, I said it on the day, but I want to say it again... I'm sorry. I was such an idiot.
Guys, please don't treat girls like this... ever.