Flower Killing 101

Only a maniacal psychopathic would mortally wound a puppy and present it to a loved-one as a symbol of love and appreciation.

Considering this, read on.

Flower killing 101

1. Pick flower, thus condemning it to slow death.

2. Present dying flower to someone special.

3. Someone special places flower in water, displaying its slow death for all to see, in similar fashion to roman crucifixion.

4. Flower, once dead, is discarded and forgotten.

Shops exist specifically for the purpose of trafficking dying flowers for human pleasure.

On February 14th each year, flower traffickers worldwide take advantage of sadistic tradition by doubling price of dying flowers.

Humans, are now so de-sensitised and depraved that the practise of flower giving (torture, display and death) is seen as an expression of love. Marriage, mankind's ultimate ceremony of love, is celebrated with women holding clusters of dying flowers, and men displaying them proudly pinned to their chests.
Sick.

21 comments:

Rhys said...

Interesting way of looking at it Symon, I dont really know what to think. If you consider it that way what about fruit and giving that as a gift?

Symon Burton said...

I hope you realise it is all in jest :), but in response to your comment... we eat fruit. It's morally acceptable and isn't a tragic waste.

Rachel Kate said...

hahaha your post seems more cynical than mine tehe i hope it provides a lot of controversial conversation :)

Rhys said...

Haha well to be honest I thought the sun had finally got to ya.
(ill be keeping a close eye on proceedings from now on)

Jon Dylan said...

Symon you legend! Did you make the whole thing up? I would dip my stetson if I was wearing one.

Symon Burton said...

Jon... Yeah mate, 100% Burton made. I would say "Nice stetson" if I saw you with one.

Love is a Blindfolded Marathon said...

awesome! and you say im cynical :D

sewfunky said...

:) I think that Mr Sew-Funky sees flowers the same way you do... Hence I never get any!

Symon Burton said...

Sewfunky... I prefer to give chocolates. Paisley usually shares them with me, and it's a win-win ;-)

jacksta said...

Its a good thing you've got a bunch of trees in your back yard for some good old tree hugging :)Flowers do die anyway...its the sad circle of life.

Symon Burton said...

More romantic than giving dead flowers is giving a potted flower I reckon ;-)

Jon Dylan said...

Haha you're a flower activist now. You should get a shirt: "Stop destroying our world, save the flowers."

Rachel Kate said...

hay potted plants are kewl :) and that's a win-win situation too!

Symon Burton said...

especially if your boyfriend's a horticulturalist ;-)

Rachel Kate said...

and offers to help pot stuff :)

Neen said...

What's a Steston?

Symon Burton said...

A Steston, for the uneducated, is similar to the typical Stetson, only the middle portion of the hat is sewn in an irregular opposite fashion to the Stetson. Worn only by society's elite.

Jonathan said...

Chocolates don't happen either for Mrs Sew Funky:

http://my-faith.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-valentines-day.html

Neen said...

Okay so I take it that a Stetson is some sort of hat then Symon?

Symon Burton said...

Elementary my dear Nina.

Anonymous said...

You are all wierd........In a good way
Hahahahaha Thats wat she said